Christmas deployed

“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” pretty much lays out everything that Christmas time should be. Treetops glistening, children waiting up to hear or see Santa, and above all else the feeling of being merry. Of all the things discussed in that song, deployment at Christmas time never made the cut and for good reason. Though a deployed Christmas didn’t make it into your dreams or onto your Christmas list, you’re here, so you might as well make the most it right? Remember that we’re all here together.

In theory, everyone knows how much it can suck to be deployed at Christmas time. This is the reason that schools, churches, organizations, and families across the United States send deployed service members so many care packages at Christmas time (Thank you by the way, we love you all for the support!). This is also the reason that the MWR organizes so many events during the holiday season.

Thank you for trying to make our season bright.

So whether you’re huddled around the care packages with your fellow service members deciding who’s eyes go better with the elf hat and who’s stomach should lay off of the Christmas treats or you’re sitting outside with your friends listening to Honey County singing Christmas carols (Thank you to Honey County, the PGA Tour (Billy Hurley III, David Hearn, Kris Blanks, Shaun Micheel, and Kyle Thompson), the Washington Redskins cheerleaders, and the group of former Redskins players that came to bring us holiday cheer) try to find joy during the season, even though you feel some sorrow.

I have compiled a list of sorts to try and help you through the holiday without too many bumps. When I say list I mean one very important thing that you should remember that encompasses EVERYTHING you need to know at Christmas time while deployed. You may be thinking, who is this twenty something that’s trying to give me advice? While my rank and my age (not twenty something by the way) may suggest otherwise, I am on my fourth deployment. Many of you probably have many more deployments under your belt and many more missed holidays, but I think this post can help you too because holidays spent away from family doesn’t get easier the more that you have.

#1: You may not be spending the holidays with your blood family, but you are spending it with your brothers and sisters in arms and it doesn’t have to be spent alone.

During my first Christmas deployment, I was in Japan. I was able to live out in town (military talk for off base). I organized a potluck and invited some people to my place whom I knew did not have their family in country. We hung out, shared a meal or two, played games, and generally, just tried not to think too much about the fact that we weren’t home. At that time, none of us had kids. I know now that missing parents and siblings is on a completely different level than missing children.

My Second Christmas Deployed

Here I am on my second deployment and without my two year old and all I’ve been able to focus on is how much it hurts to be away. I haven’t been cheered up by the many many many people who have taken the time to ask me how I’m doing (THANK YOU SO MUCH), haven’t taken advantage of the those who have come to this country to bring us Christmas cheer, and haven’t even considered how my feelings are affecting others. For these shortcomings on my part, I am sorry.

You’re Family Too

I realized last night that Otis may not be my cousin Cameron who is constantly telling jokes and making everyone crack up, but he is a good friend that does the same. David and Justin may not be my Uncle Sergil who sings Christmas carols in a baritone voice, but they spread cheer with their music non-the-less. Jason may not be my cousin Vaughn, but his presence still brings calming feelings to what could otherwise be an overwhelming situation. The Mike’s and Joe are no Maresa, but they sure can give some good advice and provide me with a hug when I need it.

The crowd at 11 Degrees last night wasn’t the same as all of my family member’s being crowded around a karaoke machine singing Christmas songs while my grandma tries to get someone to record everything, but the music played by the CA Battalions band and the comradery of people joining in to sing along, gave a ping of home. Long story short, last night I realized that I love my family, I would give almost anything to be with them, right now, but I don’t know what I would do without my deployment family and I love you guys too.

Keeping Up With Traditions

I still called my Aunt and Grandma at midnight (their time) and wished them a happy birthday. I’ll still call my mom and little cousin to do the same tomorrow. I’ll still join the family tradition of sitting around and singing Christmas carols by video chatting.

So all and all, maybe I didn’t dream of a deployed Christmas, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be one I’d find in a dream.

Written by

Momma T

I am a single mom, a Naval Officer, and an attorney. I had my daughter during my second year of law school. With a baby on my hip, I pushed through the last year of school, passed the bar, and decided to run for Congress. One day my phone rang and I was told that I would be deploying for a year and I would have to leave my daughter behind.

So, after three deployments, one and half years of living overseas, and four and half years of driving both an aircraft carrier and an amphibious helicopter carrier, I would say good-bye to my little one, drop out of my Congressional race, and once again put on my marching boots.